Time to move forward

When I started this blog, I wanted some kind of record of my time and my experience in Saudi Arabia. I wanted to write, as I've always like to write, and I wanted to share the human experience with someone, anyone...you!

I wanted you to laugh and cry and smile with me.

The name of the blog came easily, My first week here, Justin and I had a silly conversation in which I asked "But the sun still sets in the west right"?

The blog has haphazardly followed me through the awkward adjustment process, the painful divorce and a little bit of the incredibly exciting and humbling process of rebuilding.

I used to give you pictures every month, that's how I lived then. Now sometimes I remember to give you pictures every six months or maybe every year. Sometimes I just choose not to.

Well I want to write again, and despite having a busy schedule, I can do it, but every time I say I'm going to do it, I don't. It took me a while, but I finally figured out why that is. This blog, witty title and all, is of a time and of a place and both are no longer.

So it's time to say farewell, for good. The sun does still set in the west, and what can I say other than "It has finally set". Goodbye guys, It's been a lot of fun, but this side of me is done.

If you'd like, you can follow my new project here I'd love to see some of you on the other side, no promises though as to what I post, or what's it about.

Nov 2011-July 2014-"Khalas"-It is finished

Still here

I saw the tab on the browser..."Blogger: Blogger Dashboard....It was like it was calling out to me today...in all honesty, it's called out to me many days and I've simply ignored it. Not because I don't love writing the blog, not because I don't like my readers, (of whom I doubt I have any left), but because of two much more nefarious culprits. Their names? PUBH 6003 Epidemiology and PUBH 6202 Bio-statistics. All of grad school at a major university is "hard", the term "academically rigorous" is the term the University uses, but it can be stated simply as HARD and convey the appropriate emotion. These two jems however, are a little on the tougher side of HARD, and for the past 20 weeks or so, they've kept  me busy. Hopefully one day I'll write again, hopefully one day I'll go to bed without the thought of z-scores, t-scores, p-scores, confidence intervals and morbidity/mortality rates dancing through my head. Until that day though: here's the latest.

Location: Still in Saudi!, still on the East Coast, which makes it almost three years now. (I'm wrapping up my third academic year).

Latest news: Things are good, I am well, busy, busy, busy, but quite well. I may or may not be moving to Riyadh next year, I've been traveling throughout the Kingdom this year, Jeddah, Riyadh, a week or two in each location, giving seminars for students and Instructors alike. We're working on moving my position officially back to what I was originally brought here to do, Riyadh is where that can happen. So if the Riyadh thing works out, and the schedule is right, I might have another 3-5 years in me. If Riyadh falls through, I think I'll be moving on pretty soon.

At The George Washington University Alumni Meeting in Riyadh, (Hint, I'm the one not in a thobe!)

Miscellaneous stuff: Saudization is in full swing, we could chat about it for hours, I'm of a mixed opinion on it, the reality and the concept don't always match up perfectly. However the point of mentioning it was that I don't see many opportunities for Paramedics (especially from the states) in the near future, so if you get an offer and you want to know anything about the place, feel free to email me before you take the offer, but honestly, I doubt that you'll see a whole lot of offers in the immediate future.  

Land Rover or Roverous Conquerous?

I drive an old Land Rover Discovery, a 1994 with a 96' 3.9L V8 engine and 5 speed manual transmission to be exact. For it's time, it was one heck of a vehicle...However, over the years she's been mistreated, driven hard (really hard) and subjected to the Saudi summers for the past 18 years or so. Needless to say, but worth saying anyway that sometimes the old girl has some issues. Like the mornings she doesn't want to start...for no good reason, battery is fine, starter is fine, everything comes on and works, she just needs you to pop the hood and fiddle with a coil wire for a minute before she'll start. Then there's the back door lock that locks when it wants to and unlocks when it wants to, and don't forget the time that the drivers side window carriage rusted out and the window fell into the door...or the refusing to start after a stall, or the fact that the A/C barely works and the heat and the defrost are non-existent these days. And the fact that a new radio with a new antenna can still only barely pick up one station. In fact she went through a period of such trouble for about a month a while ago that she got herself nicknamed the "parking lot rover"...and "garage grazer" by my fiance.

However!

When it rains all night in Saudi, and the water builds up 10 inches deep on the streets in certain places, traffic signals stop working and storm debris litters the road...there is nothing like a "King Off The Road" Land Rover Disco', This morning, I literally said/thought the command "Land Rover-Attack"!

She fired right up and off we went! 

Blazing by the little Hyundai's and zooming by the Toyota's, decimating the drivers who are scared to get their tires wet, making fools out of Land Cruisers who are mainly driven for their size and status!

But it gets better! You see, I didn't just drive her to work, its almost hard to explain but it was something more akin to a melding of man and beast. This morning, I was not driving, I was riding, galloping, almost flying! A brave Sir Knight atop a stallion of mythic fame! My old and trusted companion. This morning we conquered the roads together, charging forward valiantly, fighting our way through congested streets, digging through puddles, barreling over sand swept streets, splashing mud and spraying water in huge jets to our sides! 

We easily accomplished our noble quest, which today was to safely and quickly travel from home to work...

Today, my Land Rover is not a Disco', not a 'Rover, and NOT a "Parking Lot Rover"/"Garage Grazer"! Today she has proven herself, and earned the most honorable of titles, today she is "Roverous Conquerous"! And as the work day comes to a close, again we prepare to ride!

Yes, I had a huge, silly grin on my face while writing this and yes I had a huge silly grin on my face while driving this morning!

Vacation 2013

I always like to take a moment and think about where I've been. Apparently from a couple of PM's I've gotten, so do the readers of this blog. So without further ado, here it is vacation 2013!

Look! I drew you a map! However, It's not very helpful is it...OK, so here's the breakdown

I checked out of work, headed for the airport and:

Boarded a flight in Damamm KSA to Amsterdam
Left Amsterdam for Detroit
Left Detroit for St. Louis

A week later I:
Boarded a flight from St. Louis to Seattle,
got in a chauffeured Escalade and went to the North Cascades Learning Institute where for the next week I learned and practiced expedition and remote medicine. with Remote Medical International
I headed back to St. Louis from Seattle,
got in my truck and headed to New Orleans, I stayed in the "Big Easy" for 3 days and had a great time.
Back on the road I headed to Central Florida, my mother lives here and I spent a great couple of weeks with her. While there we headed down to Everglades City, Florida and took air-boat tours, saw Alligators, Manatee's and the awesomeness that is the everglades.
Then I hopped on a flight from Orlando to Toronto, with a quick stop in filth-a-delphia,
We drove through Algonquin Provincial Park to Ottowa had a great couple of days in Ottawa and then headed back to Toronto where I boarded a flight for Orlando, once again stopping in "filthy", where I had a couple of beers and a "real Philly cheese-steak" (which apparently either has been greatly improved upon since leaving Philly, or was very poorly made) . Got up the next morning and headed back to St. Louis through Alabama.
3 days later, I boarded a flight to Amsterdam where I had a 7 hour layover that allowed me to explore the city a little bit and then finally boarded another plane back to Dammam, KSA.

So all in all, I drove through 8 US states (Washington, Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana and Florida) and visited 3 countries (US, Netherlands, Canada) on two different continents (North America and Europe) and I've now driven up and down both coasts of Florida...Pretty cool stuff. It might have gone fast, but I'd say I had a pretty productive vacation. Training, food, drink, friends, family, dogs...Dammit, I'm ready for another vacation!

Amsterdam

Amsterdam

Amsterdam

Amsterdam

Florida (off the I-10)

Florida Everglades

Florida Everglades

Alligator in the Everglades

Florida Everglades

Florida Everglades

Northern Washington State

Everglades

Everglades

Alligator in the Everglades

Algonquin Provincial Park (right after I got my 1st Moose!)

New Orleans

I'm baaacccckk! and I'm re-purposing...

OK, first of all I'm back in Saudi Arabia. Second of all, I'll tell you all about vacation soon and thirdly although possibly most importantly, I'm officially re-purposing the blog. The blog is now (although it has been for some time anyway) about me: the stuff I see, the things I think, the pictures I take, the experiences I have. And yes...I know its been that way for a while anyway, but it was still mainly supposed to be about Saudi and my experiences here with teaching and learning. However, that purpose originated with a married father of two, coming to the big scary Middle East to make some money and get some crazy experience for a year or two at the most. As I start my third contract year with the College, happily divorced and seriously involved with a wonderful woman who doesn't want my money, I felt it appropriate to go ahead and just admit that I might be staying a bit longer than originally intended.

So, I had a choice, start 3 different blogs to talk about 3 different topics including my transition from complete rookie photographer to decent amateur or just re-purpose this blog. And anyway, I like the title of this blog...titles this good don't come around all that often!

Stick around you might just like what you read, share me with friends! Pass me around the office, tell your co-workers that you know some crazy American who is teaching Paramedics in Saudi and he writes like a crazy man. I mean after all I'm pretty darn likeable-except when I'm not, and for those of you who love my rants (you know who you are ;-) ) I've got some great "rants" left in me! See the basic updates below, we'll chat about them later.

Update #1: I'm back in Grad School. Leaving halfway through once wasn't good enough for me... I've been admitted to The George Washington University School of Public Health. I'll be attending via live video at all manner of weird times of the evening and night, and spending some time there during the summer.

Update #2: My favorite students are finally level 7...the guys who helped me adjust and got me through the tough times are on their final leg...at the end of this year, they'll move on to their internship and some of the best friends I have we'll be pretty much out of touch. (Maybe I'll just fail my favorites to keep 'em around an extra year!)

Update #3:  Saudization is going full steam ahead still, I'll try and hang around awhile, but I've seen a few Westerners re-tasked and some even laid off. I've been warned not to fuss, fight, argue or make waves...this worries me. If students discover this the lowest grade I'll be able to give out will be a 70%! This is also one of the reasons that I've decided to go back to grad school-I need to remain competitive in a changing market. 

Update #4: The Middle East is getting "interesting", Egypt is on the brink again, Syria is in the middle of full out civil war (although some sources say it's just terrorists attacking the government), Bahrain is still a little "conflict-y" Iran has a new president, and US policy towards Pakistan is changing...which hopefully will be good for relations, but does nothing to address the fact that their Government is either completely inept or has no desire to bring killers and bomb makers to justice themselves. Libya is still a mess, Yemen is a bigger mess, and sources seem to believe that all of the arrests around the area have failed to bring down any AQAP member higher ranking than a foot soldier. All of this stuff bothers me just a tad, mainly because of where I'm from, not who I am, what I think or what I look like. (A neighbor of mine was friends with an Englishman who was shot and dragged down the street in 2009.) It's a constant reminder that things aren't always what they appear to be, and no matter how comfortable you get...you really "aren't in Kansas anymore". (Hey I thought using that cliche was better than saying "not in your own hood anymore".) Point being, I'm safe, but keep me in your thoughts and prayers (for those that pray) anyway. I'm a long way from home, in a very different place, and remember it's not "Saudi's" or "Arabs" that I have to worry about, it's that one "nut-bag", under the influence of another "nut-bag" and those "nut-bags" come in all different shapes, sizes, genders and nationalities. They don't wear AQAP team jerseys and from what I've read historically, you figure out who they are right about the time they kill you or take you hostage. So, long story short, remember me, remember that I'm trying to make some money and do good things, not just make money...
check out this "nutbag"


See ya soon!

Half-way there...damn me it's almost over!

I don't know why it always gets like this on vacation...first of all it takes some time to get your "home legs" (see "sea legs"). Once you've acclimated to home though, the trip almost gets worse! It's a funny thing, and a funny contradiction, I don't feel like a prisoner most of the year, in fact I really kind of like where I'm at and what I'm doing. I like where life, fate and God have taken me. I don't hate Saudi Arabia at all, I don't even dislike it...but it sure isn't the west. I must say, and I'd be lying by omission if i didn't, that I love traveling, and I love new things and my Saudi hosts really are great...but considering that you can do as you like here, pray as you like here and live as you like, going back to a restrictive country is...well...sort of counter-intuitive. My second night home I went to a 4th of July carnival, I didn't much enjoy it, but that's beside the point. In attendance at the carnival were Christians, Muslims, Hindu's and I'm sure Atheists. There might very well have been a satanist or two lurking around. American's, Brit's, African's, Indian's, Pakistani's and even a few Saudi engineering students. Nobody cared, everybody just had fun, nobody confronted the people who were together and unmarried, nobody told any of the women to cover their hair. Everybody just kinda lived and let live.

Soon after I got back I headed out to Washington state and headed about 3 hours north of Seattle, up near the Canadian border to attend some remote/austere environment medical training. I'll have more to say about that later, but the following pictures are from that week of training.

Tomorrow morning I'm headed to the "Big Easy", better in my opinion than the "Big Apple", laid back with a Caribbean feel. at this time tomorrow, I'll be knee deep in Zydeco music, seafood and fixings by the pound cooked in what some people call a "low country boil". Might even have some frozen daiquiris while I sit around listening to the friendly banter of the "who-dat" nation discussing the upcoming season. I'm having a great and well needed break, but I can't help but remember that vacation is half-over...damn! Time to get moving and get some miles under me, lots to see and do before I head back to the land of sun and fun.

Sunrise (filtered through paint shop, but only minimally so)

Sundown (filtered through paint shop)

Learning to make thermal wraps to protect patients

Deciding how to tackle the terrain

The proper way to carry a stokes basket in remote areas

I discovered this little waterfall on an early morning hike

Early morning on the lake (run through paint shop)

Suture Class (pig lab)

Learning how to deal with Acute Mountain Sickness and HAPE/HACE

Our group

The trip so far...in pictures!

So as I mentioned earlier, apparently you can "go home again". However, there are some facets that you need to be aware of. #1: Your friends are still your friends, but your acquaintances are gone. You weren't around to nurture those acquaintance-ships, so naturally they faded away. #2: You're on vacation, everybody else is living their life...don't expect to do much on a Monday-Thursday unless you visit people at their place of business. #3: Keep busy, and store up memories, experiences and images for your next year away. For your viewing pleasure, here are some of those images!

Rainstorm as photographed from my front porch!

Old friend of mine at the Fire Department

My old ARFF Truck, I love this monster!

My old ARFF Truck, I love this monster!

Breakfast!

Lunch!

Look at all that BBQ sauce and beer! (MO' Hick BBQ, Cuba Missouri)

Love this place!

SLU campus, St. Louis MO

SLU campus, St. Louis MO

Old St. Louis Architecture

St. Louis University has a beautiful downtown campus, the city views are awesome and the architecture breathtaking. It has the distinction of being the first University West of the Mississippi River, and also the First US University with a campus in Europe.

Flights home

As we taxied to the runway my heart rate finally slowed. I'd been an anxious wreck for the past 6 hours and was beginning to drive myself nuts. Had I packed everything, had I forgotten anything, did I lock the door of my apartment, what was waiting for me at "home", now that Saudi is kinda my "home" more or less, would the plane break down like it did last year, when the hell was my salary going to be deposited, you know the normal stuff!  It seemed to take forever to get through security, waiting for the flight to board was torture, and now, after almost 11 months of working and waiting, we were finally taxiing.

The flight crew was friendly, the pilot sounded fresh and soon we were racing down the runway, 20 minutes later I was enjoying a Heineken as we made our way into the night sky. 6 hours later, we touched down in Amsterdam without incident. 2 hours later I boarded my plane for Detroit which would eventually connect me with St. Louis. My son picked me up at the airport, we got stuck in 4th of July traffic and had a long ride home, but I didn't care. Just seeing the green and smelling the clean, cool air on the way made everything OK.

Apparently, you can go home again. I'm happy to be here.

Academic Year 2013-I'm calling it

In medicine, when a person that we've been working on has died, or has failed to respond to our attempts to revive them, the person in charge makes the statement "I'm calling it", or "I'm calling the code". This signifies to the team members that all resuscitation efforts are about to be ceased, and that if they have any objections-now is the time to voice them. I myself have "called it" many times. And I'm now, officially calling the 2012-2013 academic work year. Stick a fork in it, it's done. Time of death 00:25 July 3rd, 2013.

Actually its really been done for a while, students finished on June 5th, most staff were done with all their paperwork by June 15th, (I was done June 5th) but due to the silliness of things here, nobody could leave until July 2nd...I got the closest flight I could.

It's been a good year, a tough year, a year of big change for me both academically and personally and its over. 20 months in the Kingdom, two academic contracts completed, travel to Egypt, Bahrain and Oman completed. I'm ready to be back in the States. However, a few things have changed, and one in particular that blog readers might be interested in.

Contract: Renewed...this was a source of up and down, back and forth speculation for many months. We finally settled on something that was mutually agreeable. I took a slight cut (something you should never do), and agreed to a two year term and in exchange secured a multiple exit and re-entry visa in my contract, guaranteed, in writing, within two weeks of requesting it. However, the funny part is they never sent it...so I never signed it, so under Saudi Labor Law, the old contract holds...at my old rate of pay, and my old housing allowance. No visa comes with it, but I'm fine with the old salary and the old term. I'm also not exactly being recruited, however I am getting "looked at kindly" by a few other "better" organizations in the Kingdom...So for those of you who like to read, or follow my exploits, or just enjoy my occasional rants, looks like I'll be around a bit longer!

"You Cowardly Americans"

The title is in reference to a comment I read today on a "Salon" article, I don't usually delve this deep into politics here, I have other outlets for that, but I think the significance of the comment bears repeating.

The last time I remember things going right in my country was 2007, I was well employed, well paid, well financed and was buying like crazy. I owned a house and 3 large vehicles, I had everything I needed and more. I had almost everything I wanted. When all hell started breaking loose with the housing bubble, financial scandals and the like, things just rapidly began to...to suck. Mistakes that many of us made suddenly came to light, myself fully included in that. Many of us who considered ourselves "Conservatives" or "Republicans" took an honest look in the mirror and hung our heads in shame. We knew what we'd done, we'd borrowed on margin, overspent, bet on luck and our luck had run out. Sure there was a scandal or two out there, but if we hadn't been stupid with our money, nothing would have ever touched us...at least that's what we told ourselves. Part of the "Conservative" self image comes with a little thing we like to call "personal responsibility", and instead of practicing it, we'd partied our stupid asses off like drunken frat boys on a Vegas vacation. Pools, hot-tubs, oversize houses, golf club memberships, iPod's, iPhones, iPad's, student loans, cars, trucks, boats, motorcycles...you name it, we had it. Our kids didn't work, and we didn't worry about it...there was always money on "the card". I've recently begun to look at that a little differently...the personal responsibility is still there, but it's just that, personal. Personally, I should have had the foresight and the wherewithal to take a look around me and realize just how many people had their hands in my wallet while smiling to my face. But as long as the money didn't run out, I didn't worry about it. Nowadays however, I worry enough for both of us.

I ended up running away screaming from the Republicans (fat old elephants), but stopped short of running into the open arms of the Democrats (braying asses), I looked in the Libertarian (might as well be an anarchist) window for a minute, but that window is something akin to a smoky stained glass design of a hundred splinters. I finally settled on "independent" whatever the hell that means. I think I'm half humanist, half democratic socialist, half I don't know what (Yes, I'm aware that makes me an improper fraction :-) ). So now that my rose colored glasses have been knocked from my face and have shattered on the ground lets take a look at the 2000's with clearer eyesight. Stop me if you've heard this one:

• Enron Scandal
• Arthur Anderson
• WorldCom (Now Verizon!) Collapse and Scandal
• Iraq War (revealed in 2012-13 to be based on complete falsehoods and deliberately doctored information)
• Abu Garib Scandal
• Blackwater
• Halliburton
• Countrywide Scandal (The real beginning of the housing bust) (Oh and you know who had a 0% Countywide loan? Retired US Senator and one time Presidential hopeful Chris Dodd!)
• WAMU collapse and "Golden Parachute" discussion starter!
• Taylor Bean and Whittaker Collapse and raid by the FBI (Who up until last week was negatively affecting my credit report)
• Bernie Madoff
• Bailouts
• Lehman Brothers
• BP Gulf Horizon
• Illegal Home Foreclosures, yes Illegal and inappropriate even, some actually based on race and race alone!
• Benghazi
• Cairo 
• IRS wrongfully targeting conservative groups for extra scrutiny
• NSA potentially illegal surveillance
• And today, the thing that started me thinking... 6 Bank of America employees give depositions that they were paid to foreclose on homes, given bonuses to lie to customers, and illegally and inappropriately deny loan modifications link. 

Hmm...who did I forget...Oh yeah, THESE GUYS!

• John Edwards
• Mark Sanford
• Rod Blagojevich
• Elliott Spitzer
• Gary Condit
• Scooter Libby
• Mark Foley
• Jack Abramoff
• Tom Delay
• Bernie Kerik
• Randy Cunningham

All of these events and all of these people have done something either inappropriate or illegal either to you or in your name...in my name...in the name of Freedom and the United States of America! Very few of them are in prison, very few are poor, none are homeless. Here's my problem with that. I actually like my Country, I kinda served her once or twice and I don't think I should have to stand for this crap. However, we never really noticed stuff as long as we had money to burn, and now it seems a little too late to put the proverbial cat back in the bag. Now when you complain, the Usurpers of the system tell you that they're the Americans, and that you, well your just a discontent, a troublemaker, a commie, unpatriotic,  liberal idiot, hippie dreamer, tree hugging slack jawed faggot. The people who stole money from you, took bribes, employed illegal aliens, threw your neighbors out of their homes, passed laws they couldn't follow themselves, killed civilians, illegally monitored you in the name of "National Security" lied to you, lied again, and then lied about the lie. They're calling themselves the real Americans, and unfortunately, were all too damn stupid to notice.

So to that I say 'Merica! Fuck Yeah!

The comment that I paraphrased in the title comes from a commenter on the "Salon" piece about BofA. He states something to the effect that he finds it ironic that the US calls the French cowards, and yet the rest of the world looks at us that way. He ties it in to the demands for "heads to roll, guillotine style" in the BofA scandal. He doesn't tie it in to the wars we fight or the things we do, but rather what gets done to us and in our name, the things we allow. He goes on to say that our Government hasn't said "let them eat cake", but has instead put on a grin and said "yes, yes, you can have it all!" and then turned around, laughing all the way back to their McMansion's while they rob us blind (and I imagine us standing their like a pitiful version of a 21st century Oliver Twist played by Justin Bieber)....then he throws in some "stupid American's" and some LOL's and I suddenly find my hands trembling, and I'm practically blind with rage...but not at the author of the comment.

I don't have any political activist friends, probably a good thing, I don't much care for burn out hipsters or people in "cooky" red hats. My friends are doctors, paramedics, nurses, firefighters, cops, accountants, soldiers, sailors, business owners, professors and the like. They aren't going to like this, not one bit. It's going to feel hostile to them, its going to feel like an attack on their way of life and its not. Rather, its a criticism of the tolerance that we've built up to being screwed over. We fight amongst ourselves for the scraps from the table and look to each other as the problem, maybe were just too stupid to look up. Whatever the cause, try and remember, the more scandals break, the more stupid comments Jeb Bush makes, and the more Sarah Palin comes in and out of the spotlight, the more racial and sexual tension they can stir up, the less anybody focuses on the problem at hand. Were being robbed, spied on, thrown out and laughed at...and were fighting for the privilege, fighting for the idea that right around the corner is our magic ticket to the top. I call "Bullshit" 

I hope the NSA enjoyed reading this, I'll be home on the 3rd of July guys, flying through Detroit and desiring nothing more than a cold beer in my own back yard. I'm not crazy, I'm not a terrorist, I haven't been "radicalized", this isn't a "manifesto", I pay my taxes, live my life, do my job. I've served, my friends and family have served and some of them didn't come home. I have all the right in the world to question the crap being pulled to "keep me safe" and wonder why there are men getting rich driving companies into the ground, why my elected officials abuse perks, take bribes, and why the majority of the people stealing on a million dollar scale are doing less prison time than a kid who robs the 7-11.

*I support a coalition of action against #NSA surveillance. Join me – ask US Congress to stop the NSA's alleged actions: stopwatching.us
* The web is meant to be open and free. Join me in asking US Congress to stop #NSA surveillance: stopwatching.us

Tieing up loose ends...

I spent my evenings this past week doing things a little differently. Most of them were spent either grading papers, or touching up resumes. Nothing has changed at work, I'm still looking at heading out for good in the first days of July. That involves some problems, and for the first time in a long time it involves confronting one of them.

I confronted that problem tonight. I did something I've been told to do by every single family member and friend for the past 8-10 months. I acted in my own best interest. 

If you've read any of this blog, you know why I came here, you know what I've done and know what has happened. What you didn't know was that I've been neglecting some of my own issues at home in an attempt to make things easier...or rather keep everything friendly...or better yet and most truthfully, put off dealing with the things I needed to deal with. Now, those of you young people, or non deep thinkers or just plain idiots think that what I mean is that I didn't want to deal with the divorce. That maybe I'm still in Love with her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was there, in the Lawyers office after an 8 hour drive, Hot, tired and not really in a great mood.  I disagreed, told her she was making a mistake and signed the papers anyway. Then I went out for dinner with her and her boyfriend (shut up...I KNOW...that was stupid). Then I got pissed off and left...briefly considered shooting them (but only in the butt with an air rifle (repetitively) from a raised and concealed position)...The next morning, after a sleepless night in a roach motel, I met her for a good, American, very non-Saudi breakfast and then headed for New Orleans. There I spent a drunken week with a great friend going between Bourbon street, The Garden District and a tattoo parlor...after all that...TRUST ME folks, I dealt with the damn divorce, and my feelings for her are about as romantic as getting kicked in the face repetitively. 

That brings me to my real point. I dealt with the divorce, I never dealt with the ramifications of it. Do you have any idea what it's like to sort out 9 years of memories? The human mind is phenomenal for its ability to look back on a situation and show you only the good. What's been hanging around my head, that I didn't deal with until today was that it was over. Not the romance mind you, but all the other stuff. All the good memories, all the firsts, the backyard BBQ's, all the relatives, the Christmas mornings, the Sleepwear that was literally the farthest thing from sexy but the closest thing to adorably cute. The first night we brought the puppy home or the time when my 100 lbs Black lab was so small that she walked from my shoulder to my other shoulder by climbing over my head. The football games, the baseball games, the hockey games and the long bar nights after them. We used to spend weekends doing DIY projects, having champagne brunches, driving random places and exploring.

When you get divorced, you lose all of that...I forgot to deal with it.

Today, I dealt with it. I didn't really want to, but I had to. For reasons I won't explain here, I was at a crossroads...either fail, and I DO mean FAIL, by my own hand, or face reality and make a smart decision. With the help of some very special people, I chose the latter. I expected to feel lighter, having made the right decision, having decided not to become a Martyr, I expected relief. I didn't get it, I only felt sadness. I miss my dogs, I miss my backyard and my decks (the crappy one I built first and the good one I built second). I miss our friends and family, I miss hanging Christmas lights. 

I miss some things that are in the past, and that's OK, because today for the first time, I realized and recognized that I miss the past and that no matter what I do, it will always-already-be-over. That realization opens up a door, it opens up a door to a future. Recognizing my old life is over, gives me a chance at a new life, not just a new romance, but a new life. A new life just as full of action and excitement, moments and eventually memories. With any luck, it'll be here in the Kingdom for another couple years (In'shAllah). I'm not done here. 

Wherever my future takes place though, I'm finally free to look forward and not back...That's a good thing.

* I also started my diving re-cert, if I'm leaving I want to Dive the Red Sea before I go...If not, well I love to dive and somehow haven't been in the water for 10 years.

** A note about divorce if you have to get one, men or women, take my advice: Surround yourself with your family and good friends, hire a lawyer because you're far too vulnerable to make good decisions for yourself, and hash it all out at once. It's going to damn near kill you, but its a good thing.

What did he just say?

Friday is the holy day in Saudi Arabia, the weekend begins Wednesday evening and ends when we all go back to work on Saturday morning. This varies throughout the region, but here in Saudi, its locked in. Thursday activities are limited, Friday activities are almost non-existent until after Isha Prayer. I thought I would hate this, but actually I've kinda grown accustomed to it...in fact I kinda enjoy the down time. The call to Prayer is now something I normally sleep through on the weekends, for the first couple of months it sent me straight out of bed in a hurry and made it thoroughly impossible to be late or to sleep in. Today, like a few recent Fridays though, I didn't sleep in.

I didn't sleep in because today there was a sermon being preached...at least that's what it sounded like to me. I mean no disrespect when I say that. I do however question what was being said...I don't speak Arabic but I do often find myself able to understand it a bit, but coming through a loudspeaker and being spoken as quickly and as angrily as it was today and has been in the past few months...well needless to say I didn't get any of it.

My question and my point today is just what the heck was being said? Opinions vary, but they seem to be in the majority camp that the only thing that should be happening, especially on a Friday is prayer. I've asked just about all of my friends here if this is a normal occurrence and they all seem to be saying that "for the most part, no". Now, Arabic is one of those languages that intensifies in volume and pitch with speed and passion, so it's hard to say if the Imam was angry...but he sure sounded angry. So what was he angry about?

That question, is one that I'd like to have answered, but it seems to not be one that anyone wants to answer for a foreigner. So I'm left to my imagination...was he maligning the state of the Syrian Conflict, The Bahrani Conflict? The arrests made in Qassim recently? Was he preaching against the recent AQAP Youtube Video reaching out for women to start calling for Jihad. Or was he preaching for the unification of Islam, the bonding of Sunni and Shia together...Or was he doing the opposite of all or one of those things...I don't know, but it sure is curious.

Technology moves faster than the muttawa...

Serious bloggers and reporters (not me!), have had a lot to talk about in terms of women in Saudi Arabia and gender segregation lately.  Saudi is going through growing pains you see.  The traditional Islamic thinking folks want to maintain the role of religion and modest behavior in the country.  The more "progressive" thinking sect wants to open it up a little more, wants women to be able to work, drive and maybe even allow men and women to mix in society.  There are fringe "extremists" off both of these groups, on one side they want every woman in full Burkha and strict gender segregation, on the other they want to build the equivalent of hooters and nightclubs on every corner and allow women to wear whatever they want, the less the better. 

As an expat, a foreigner and a "semi" culturally sensitive one, I don't take much of an opinion on this...not really at least.  As far as I'm concerned, the Western version of universal human rights are a bit skewed...and maybe shouldn't necessarily include women driving or working for the matter. 

I find it slightly amusing that International non-profits work tirelessly to free the women of Saudi Arabia from their "chains", and yet little is said about the destitute Pakistani, Phillipino or Bangladeshi man picking up trash in 110+ degree heat to make a living and feed his family for 500-1000 SAR/month ($133-$266 USD).  

I think as far as I'm concerned if the women of Saudi Arabia want change, they should fight for it themselves (as many do) and change it from within.

So all that being said, let me assure the reader that their are folks who break the rules here, Their are Saudi folks who live on compounds and drink at embassies.  Others date and dance and party.  Some are wild and some are just not quiet "traditional".  Among my student population, I definitely have some boys and young men who are down to party, which makes me believe even more that they aren't alone in that desire.  

China has it's own version of facebook, North Korea is considering one...Saudi, while banning users from accessing certain websites, allows facebook, twitter, snapchat, whatsapp and everything that goes along with them.  Including...wait for it....wait for it....the newest sex app..."BWF".  I'm not going to name it, first of all I don't want any trouble with its owners or the CPVPV, and second of all I've never used it.  I don't know if it's the best idea or not, but I'm not judging at this point.  It will however give some of the young people around here a whole lot of interesting things to talk about and trouble to get into...The same way "DTF" did a while back.  

If you haven't noticed...I often have no point...tonight I have two.  Either Saudi is going to have to do something to move to a more moderate position on some of these issues or their going to have problems.  But also, can you imagine how this looks from a culturally conservative viewpoint?  One that believes deep down that men should be strong and pure and that women should be modest and pure?  Some days we really do the look like the roman orgy of a culture they think we are.  I think things like this fuel the fire...Oh well, bring on the debauchery I guess. However, I can't imagine being 21 again in this high tech world of finding "dates" using the GPS on my phone and knowing which of my facebook friends want to shag!  :-)

Bahrani Break

I spent a couple of days this past weekend in Manama, the capital city of the Kingdom of Bahrain.  Bahrain is only 60 kilometers from my part of Saudi, its home to the US Navy's Fifth Fleet and is an Islamic Island Kingdom (actually an "archipelago of more than 30 Islands according to Wikipedia) situated between the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and the State of Qatar in the Persian or "Arabian" Gulf.  Bahrain, now a Sovereign Kingdom has been ruled by the "Persians", the Portuguese and is a former protectorate of the United Kingdom.  It is one of the oil rich Arab nations and is thus interesting to the rest of the world.**

What seemed so interesting to me was that Bahrain seems to pull off the mix of culture thing fairly well.  It is an Islamic state, but women are not required to be covered or segregated from men.  They can be though, it boils down to personal choice in most cases.  Shorts and skirts are commonly worn, Burkini's are not required to swim.  Alcohol is served in the restaurants and bars that are attached to hotels, and pork is served.  It seems that similar to the UAE and Qatar, Muslims are expected to follow the rules of their faith.  Therefore, only the "Westerners" or non-Muslims should be drinking and dancing with women they aren't married too.  The reality is quite far from that perfect picture of what "should" happen and the bars that we went to seemed to be at least split 50/50 Muslims and Non-Muslims.  And it should be mentioned that I can't tell who is from where in the Arab world, so who am I to say that drinking is "haram" for them or that they're even Muslims.) 

The trip across the causeway was a little crowded, but pretty uneventful.  The customs officers seemed a little friendlier than they do at the airport but nothing special.  When we got into Bahrain though everything changed...traffic was much more controlled and traffic laws had to be obeyed.  Police officers in clean cars pulled people over and issued them tickets.  Seatbelts had to be worn and child safety seats had to be used.  Maybe strangest of all for me on the road was that women were driving!  

Leaving Saudi, entering Bahrain

We stayed at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Manama which had received 4 stars from Orbitz reviewers.  The hotel was great and had a few different restaurant choices.  The room was nice, bed comfy as could be-I really, really enjoyed this aspect!  We hit the bar for lunch and a drink, found both to be excellent even if a tiny bit pricey. 

"Back off Brah..I'm on vacation!"

View from our 3rd floor room.

We found an appetizer with sausage and Ribs...Yum!

There are a few big malls (which is nothing odd for us coming from Saudi where the un-official national past-time is shopping) but in Bahrain you can actually find fitting rooms and a few other things not easily found in Saudi.  You can also shop as a couple if you so choose with no fear of the CPVPV (Religious Police) arresting you.  

Very "Sailor Jerry", except that its more Trader Vic's-y

Dinner was at Trader Vic’s which is attached to the Ritz-Carlton…Very Nice!  The hostess told us that without reservations, we’d probably be waiting at least 2 or more hours, however we could have a seat in the bar.  In the bar, we found excellent large tables with a beautiful view of the gardens and ponds at the Ritz.   The ambiance of the place was perfect, dark enough to feel romantic and exotic, light enough not to trip or have to squint at the menu.  The service was excellent, the rum drinks delicious, the Mojito’s were handmade Cuban perfection in a glass.  The four of us decided on the Chateaubriand for 2 (times 2) and while I generally consider myself a master chef when it comes to beef…the tenderness of these cuts blew anything I’ve ever made out of the water.  We washed it all down with another round or two of drinks, good conversation and a nice Cuban cigar.  

Shot from our table towards the enormous restaurant

How can you wrong with this many Rum Drinks?

  












The next day, I took the opportunity to sleep in and enjoy the room.  I headed downstairs about 10:30 and met up with friends in the coffee shop.  We all decided to indulge ourselves with the hotels enormous brunch…which also happened to be a champagne brunch…can you see where this is going?  I had initially said that all I wanted was a couple of last beers before the weekend ended…but instead ended up drinking Mimosas all day…and then having my last beers.  

The trip home across the causeway was again uneventful, and again the border security was at least professional and capable if not overly friendly.  

It was a great weekend; I made it to my 10th Country and had great travel companions.  I give the entire trip a 4 star rating and I only leave out the last star because I didn’t win a million dollars at a casino, or win a Mercedes in a contest or anything crazy like that).  I highly recommend checking out Bahrain, especially if you're in the Middle East already.

**Bahrain has also been the site of some pretty bloody clashes between the Shi'ite Muslim majority and the ruling Sunni Muslim minority.  Saudi has sent Emergency Forces and some troops to help Bahrain when the riots were at their worst during the "Arab Spring" that began 2 years ago in late 2010.  Along with these clashes, Bahraini authorities have been accused of committing atrocities and violations against prisoners in custody, including medical workers. Some international observers feel that the conflict in Bahrain is far from over and could possibly turn into full revolution if it weren't for the fact that Saudi is here to help the Bahrani Royal Family...and the U.S. helps Saudi and therefore is a de facto supporter of the Bahrani Royal Family and that actually were not de facto at all, that because of our agreements with Bahrain since 1991, we are a full legitimate supporter of the Government and not the majority of the Bahraini people...Ahh, but that's where it turns into the normal mess of foreign policy issues and whose right and whose wrong.  And the fact that the Shi'ite structure is based out of Iran and would therefore pose a potential threat to Saudi and definitely increase Iran's chances of actually blockading the Straight of Hormuz... Unfortunately with these things, a one size or one style fits all approach is impossible.  I'd venture to say that in order to speak intelligently on it and or pick a side, you'd have to be at minimum a middle east expert.