Bahrani Break

I spent a couple of days this past weekend in Manama, the capital city of the Kingdom of Bahrain.  Bahrain is only 60 kilometers from my part of Saudi, its home to the US Navy's Fifth Fleet and is an Islamic Island Kingdom (actually an "archipelago of more than 30 Islands according to Wikipedia) situated between the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and the State of Qatar in the Persian or "Arabian" Gulf.  Bahrain, now a Sovereign Kingdom has been ruled by the "Persians", the Portuguese and is a former protectorate of the United Kingdom.  It is one of the oil rich Arab nations and is thus interesting to the rest of the world.**

What seemed so interesting to me was that Bahrain seems to pull off the mix of culture thing fairly well.  It is an Islamic state, but women are not required to be covered or segregated from men.  They can be though, it boils down to personal choice in most cases.  Shorts and skirts are commonly worn, Burkini's are not required to swim.  Alcohol is served in the restaurants and bars that are attached to hotels, and pork is served.  It seems that similar to the UAE and Qatar, Muslims are expected to follow the rules of their faith.  Therefore, only the "Westerners" or non-Muslims should be drinking and dancing with women they aren't married too.  The reality is quite far from that perfect picture of what "should" happen and the bars that we went to seemed to be at least split 50/50 Muslims and Non-Muslims.  And it should be mentioned that I can't tell who is from where in the Arab world, so who am I to say that drinking is "haram" for them or that they're even Muslims.) 

The trip across the causeway was a little crowded, but pretty uneventful.  The customs officers seemed a little friendlier than they do at the airport but nothing special.  When we got into Bahrain though everything changed...traffic was much more controlled and traffic laws had to be obeyed.  Police officers in clean cars pulled people over and issued them tickets.  Seatbelts had to be worn and child safety seats had to be used.  Maybe strangest of all for me on the road was that women were driving!  

Leaving Saudi, entering Bahrain

We stayed at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Manama which had received 4 stars from Orbitz reviewers.  The hotel was great and had a few different restaurant choices.  The room was nice, bed comfy as could be-I really, really enjoyed this aspect!  We hit the bar for lunch and a drink, found both to be excellent even if a tiny bit pricey. 

"Back off Brah..I'm on vacation!"

View from our 3rd floor room.

We found an appetizer with sausage and Ribs...Yum!

There are a few big malls (which is nothing odd for us coming from Saudi where the un-official national past-time is shopping) but in Bahrain you can actually find fitting rooms and a few other things not easily found in Saudi.  You can also shop as a couple if you so choose with no fear of the CPVPV (Religious Police) arresting you.  

Very "Sailor Jerry", except that its more Trader Vic's-y

Dinner was at Trader Vic’s which is attached to the Ritz-Carlton…Very Nice!  The hostess told us that without reservations, we’d probably be waiting at least 2 or more hours, however we could have a seat in the bar.  In the bar, we found excellent large tables with a beautiful view of the gardens and ponds at the Ritz.   The ambiance of the place was perfect, dark enough to feel romantic and exotic, light enough not to trip or have to squint at the menu.  The service was excellent, the rum drinks delicious, the Mojito’s were handmade Cuban perfection in a glass.  The four of us decided on the Chateaubriand for 2 (times 2) and while I generally consider myself a master chef when it comes to beef…the tenderness of these cuts blew anything I’ve ever made out of the water.  We washed it all down with another round or two of drinks, good conversation and a nice Cuban cigar.  

Shot from our table towards the enormous restaurant

How can you wrong with this many Rum Drinks?

  












The next day, I took the opportunity to sleep in and enjoy the room.  I headed downstairs about 10:30 and met up with friends in the coffee shop.  We all decided to indulge ourselves with the hotels enormous brunch…which also happened to be a champagne brunch…can you see where this is going?  I had initially said that all I wanted was a couple of last beers before the weekend ended…but instead ended up drinking Mimosas all day…and then having my last beers.  

The trip home across the causeway was again uneventful, and again the border security was at least professional and capable if not overly friendly.  

It was a great weekend; I made it to my 10th Country and had great travel companions.  I give the entire trip a 4 star rating and I only leave out the last star because I didn’t win a million dollars at a casino, or win a Mercedes in a contest or anything crazy like that).  I highly recommend checking out Bahrain, especially if you're in the Middle East already.

**Bahrain has also been the site of some pretty bloody clashes between the Shi'ite Muslim majority and the ruling Sunni Muslim minority.  Saudi has sent Emergency Forces and some troops to help Bahrain when the riots were at their worst during the "Arab Spring" that began 2 years ago in late 2010.  Along with these clashes, Bahraini authorities have been accused of committing atrocities and violations against prisoners in custody, including medical workers. Some international observers feel that the conflict in Bahrain is far from over and could possibly turn into full revolution if it weren't for the fact that Saudi is here to help the Bahrani Royal Family...and the U.S. helps Saudi and therefore is a de facto supporter of the Bahrani Royal Family and that actually were not de facto at all, that because of our agreements with Bahrain since 1991, we are a full legitimate supporter of the Government and not the majority of the Bahraini people...Ahh, but that's where it turns into the normal mess of foreign policy issues and whose right and whose wrong.  And the fact that the Shi'ite structure is based out of Iran and would therefore pose a potential threat to Saudi and definitely increase Iran's chances of actually blockading the Straight of Hormuz... Unfortunately with these things, a one size or one style fits all approach is impossible.  I'd venture to say that in order to speak intelligently on it and or pick a side, you'd have to be at minimum a middle east expert.  

You just can't put Saudi's in a box...

First of all this topic deserves an ongoing blog of its own and I might just do that.  Second of all, of course you can't!  They're too big and even if you get 'em to fit they can't breathe unless you poke a lot of holes!**  

Seriously though, it seems every time I figure something out about the world, or people in the world, someone comes along and proves me wrong.  This happens constantly here!  For whatever reason, my brain is always trying to establish a baseline for things, including cultures I guess.  It wants to be able to say that "the mean is this and with the exception of a few outliers, the rule holds true".  Except that it doesn't.  Almost never does it work out to be a "safe" and  "general" description. 

To prove that to me today, a writer in Arab News, who I generally don't like, in fact that I generally really don't like wrote an op-ed piece that I like.  Not only do I like it, but I agree wholeheartedly with what she has to say.  Sabria S. Jawhar writes this piece http://www.arabnews.com/don%E2%80%99t-get-too-excited-about-jeddah%E2%80%99s-new-aquarium and while it brings Jeddah's new aquarium to the attention of people who didn't know about it (such as myself!) it more directly pokes at the Haia for their ultra-conservatist views on morality and the ways in which they must enforce their world view.  This is the type of behavior that gets bloggers arrested, expats kicked out, and my comments on the online article erased.   And yet, she wrote it, published it and it made the final cut of a state or VERY close to state owned newspaper.

So, back to the box...barring the article disappearing tomorrow and the author suddenly getting fired for incompetence...these things happened.  An author saw a possible problem in Saudi society that she wanted to address.  She then wrote about it and submitted it, her editor let it run, the printer printed it and the distributor distributed it. 

You just can't put Saudi's in a box, no matter how much that joke makes me giggle sometimes, it's true.  Stereotyping and categorizing human beings with free will is impossible. 

**Note to my newer ESL readers, that second part is a joke, it's sarcasm based on a "play on words" and concepts. 

**Also, this was first brought to my attention from another bloggers post, http://www.nzpounamu.com/2013/01/dont-get-too-excited-about-jeddahs-new.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+KiwiLivingInSaudiWhatToDo+%28Kiwi+Living+in+Saudi%3A+What+to+do%3F%29  She can be found at the link listed and writes a great blog from a totally different city, generation, gender, background and angle than I do.  Check her out! 

Just where the hell have YOU been?

Well, that's kind of a long story, but I guess the short of it is, nowhere.  I'm still here at Disney, living the life, breathing in the fine particulate dust, putting money in the accounts (so that it can be voraciously consumed by the debts of a former wife opps...life). 

To be more specific, or rather more accurate, I guess it's safe to say I started living again.  For those who follow the blog and have done so from the beginning, you've seen me go through these things, read about them, looked at the pictures, and depending on your level of imagination and my writing skill on that particular day, maybe even cried with me through the hard times and smiled with me through the good.  And I've said before that I started living again, but I was just starting back then, I was taking baby steps, I was still a little torn between what was, what happened and what was to come...Now I'm running. 

So lets catch you up, shall we. 

• I have a "friend" and confidant in my life again.  Can't say much more on this topic, but suffice it to say, no man is an island.  "Friend" is an interesting term, one that I don't use lightly, some of you probably have no friends, I've gone through times when I had none.  Having one or two especially in closer proximity than halfway around the world is a good thing.  I have 2 here, and some really, really good, awesome acquaintances.  Friend: n  Person who would spend personal money and get on a plane in the middle of the night without any questions simply because you asked them to. 
• I moved, I think I might have mentioned that before, but the moving itself was a real pain in the ass, getting everything set up was almost as bad.  Getting back and forth for the first couple of weeks was nothing short of wild either.  But the new apartment is cheaper, and in a better location with many more opportunities for socializing...not to mention I can now step outside my door without breaking the rules!
• I'm Driving!  That's right, I rented a car.  Nothing special, a little 2013 Hyundai Accent, but with the money I was saving by moving, and the money I was spending on Taxi's, it worked out to just a little bit out of my pocket.  Saudi driving has its crazy moments, but its not half as bad as it looks from the passenger side.  It's a lot like driving in most US cities, just without as many rules...And I rented from Avis to make sure that I had good insurance and that the car would be in good mechanical shape. 
• We finished first semester, tests have been administered, grades have been turned in, reports have been written.  Class load has been determined for second semester, I have my schedules written and am preparing the first two weeks detailed lesson plans.  I have 4 subjects and I'm pulling 15 credit hours and 32 contact hours of Instruction...ugh!  
• I'm building the level 8 logbook 4 from scratch, It's a long story again, but I don't actually have access to the program the logbooks were built in...so I'm starting from zero, I hope to have a poorly written makeshift copy ready in the next month and the revision completed by the end of the semester.  I kinda plan on using it as a bargaining chip to make sure receive my end of service benefits.  
• I hit 14 months and didn't bother to take a picture...
• I started reading and studying again...I'm currently in the middle of 3 novels, and have a few different podcasts that I listen to.  It's amazing that as you live life, you get caught up in things, stop studying and are behind the times almost immediately.  For me, trying to understand US foreign policy and US-Saudi relations as well as understand the gun control debate and fiscal cliff non-sense based on an education from 4-5 years ago was something akin to trying to build a house based on your extensive knowledge of how to build a barn...So I'll write a separate post about some of these maybe, but allow me to recommend the following podcasts and blogs.  Podcasts:  Dan Carlins Hardcore History, Dan Carlin's Common Sense, Back Story, Things you missed in History Class.  Blogs:  Eric Garland http://www.ericgarland.co/2013/01/15/the-chart-that-explains-the-crazy/  Eric is a "little" out there, oh wait actually, he's not, he's just telling you some stuff in a way that you haven't heard before.  Love this blog.  

So, as you can hopefully see, I haven't been ignoring you!  And I haven't fallen off the edge of the world either!  Just got a little busy, which is a good thing sometimes.  One of these days though, I'm finally going to head home on time, not having any pressing engagements and just fall asleep on the couch! 

The day that shall not be named, mentioned or celebrated

Christmas is illegal in Saudi Arabia...this bothers me, it always has.  Last year my boss, an amateur Mutaween himself took the liberty of calling me to remind that Christmas was illegal, that Dec. 25th was a work day and that he did not want to receive any reports of any Christian/Christmas behavior.  Aside from being disgusted by the man, I was also a little "hurt".  Had I really signed away all my rights by coming here, was I truly a "slave" to a nation that could tell me not only when to come and go, prevent me from leaving and confiscate my personal passport (which is actually US Government property) but now I was being told what to think in my own mind and do in my own private thoughts?

My time spent with that boss was pretty tough.  I learned that any more than 3 non Saudi's gathering could be broken up as they might be plotting or praying.  That speaking without being asked when I was in a group of Saudi's was rude (even if I was the subject matter expert).  And that while he stressed academic standards, it only applied to those students without any wasta.  He managed to also "teach" me that Shia Muslims are Iranian spies and have sexual relations with livestock, that Saudi's are superior to all Arabs, but that Arabs are superior to Westerners.  Oh and that the "Persian Gulf" is actually the "Arabian Gulf". 

I barely made it through with that guy, I almost turned in my resignation more than once.  The three other American's while I have my own opinions of them and their decisions individually, left because of this guy.  I almost told him what I really thought about him, and where I thought he might spend his afterlife, I almost called and told the FBI that this guy hates America, Americans, and Christianity yet flies in and out of the US at least a couple times a year...why?  If he hates us so much, that behavior is a little odd don't you think?  In the end though, I just dealt with it.

This year however, my department works under a different structure, that guy is gone (although he still somehow controls my housing allowance), my department head is great, my Campus Dean excellent and very understanding.  This year I was asked if I wanted a visa to go celebrate Christmas.  This year, many students actually said "Merry Christmas".  This year, I felt welcomed and appreciated by my Saudi hosts.  This year, I attended a Riyadh Christmas party thrown by a Saudi Arabian man and his wife, (Don't even think about it Mutt's, this guy's got more wasta than most of you).  This year I celebrated with American's, Saudi's, Canadian's, German's, Brazilians, the Irish, and a few others I can't think of to name.  This was one of the most enjoyable and special holiday seasons I've ever had, I spent it with good friends, ate good food, and had some great conversations.  I spent it reconnecting with old friends and meeting some new.  Above all though, I spent it with a lot of love.

What strikes me as ironic is that, here in a place where Christmas is illegal, I just had my best Christmas ever.

Wadjda goes to the movies, but not here...

The 2012 Film Wadja premiers tonight at the Dubai International Film Festival.  The film is the story of a young Saudi girl who wants to ride a bicycle.  This of course isn't really "allowed" here in Saudi and as the story progresses it confronts some of the issues with women, freedom and society here in the Kingdom.  The film was shot in Saudi Arabia, and admittedly is not a harsh judge of the Kingdom.  Despite that though, a movie shot here in the Kingdom, about the Kingdom will not be shown in the Kingdom because cinemas are still banned here even in the 21st century.  I think what drives me nuts about that is that not only is it backwards, but all the same things are watched on TV and downloaded unedited. 

If nothing else imagine the potential revenue source cinemas would be, while at the same time reducing pirating and employing local workers.  The Kingdom could even show only the movies it felt appropriate.  But nope.  No movies...

Here is a link to the IMDB page on the film and a much better write up than I could give you. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2258858/

13 Months and Fight Club...

13 months ago I got here.  A couple days later I started a blog.  Whatever the blog has become, it started as a record of the things I saw and experienced here.  Partly for my family, partly for me to be able to look back and reflect on when I went home in a year, and also because getting realistic information on Saudi wasn't that easy for me when I tried in the months before coming.  So in the spirit of those things, lets look at this from a "what have I done, how have I changed perspective"...and "why am I still here at 13 months?  Wasn't I already supposed to be home?"

I love the movie Fight Club, always thought it was ahead of its time and that maybe it wasn't bigger than it was because the world wasn't ready for it.

Looking back, I realize that I wasn't ready for it.  I think I always thought it was about-fighting.  Now, I say that a little jokingly.  I'm not an idiot, not a complete idiot at least.  I knew the movie was much deeper than that, and I appreciated it for its depth, its twists and its turns...not just the idea of fighting, but if I'd understood it then, as I understand the concept now...life may have been much different.

"You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

Does the above quote make any sense to you?  Don't feel bad if it doesn't, it took a while to mean more than a cool sounding bit of monologue to me to.  And depending on how happy you think you are, you might be better off if it continued to mean nothing to you.  What you need to understand though is that being here, being this far from family and the things I thought were important, and learning to live again after it all...these are the things that made it make sense to me.  If you aren't prepared to do that, DO NOT GET ON THAT AIRPLANE!  If you would rather NOT see the truth, would rather not find out that you wasted a good number of years chasing a golden ring you weren't ever going to get...stay home, seriously, stay home and be proud of your decision.  

Once your eyes are open, they're hard to close again.

Learning to start conversations with phrases other than "my wife and I" and learning that not everybody embraces or even has access to the "American Way" of life on credit was a good majority of the change and that could have happened anywhere.  It was an accelerated process here, but it could have happened anywhere away from home and lots of solitude.  

But a lot of it was being here.  Realizing that I knew so little about so much of the world even after traveling quite a bit. Having lots of time to read, meeting people so completely different than me and yet so very similar.  My pitiful attempts to try and fast at Ramadan, seeing the desert and riding a camel with an old bedouin guide who didn't speak any English, learning to look forward to a weekend with friends and some steaks and wine.  Months on my own and having Muslim co-workers and students befriend me, reach out when I was in trouble, sad and lonely...and wanting nothing in return-oh don't get me wrong, more than a few have tried to convert me, but that's another story in and of itself and its not nefarious in any way.**

A lot of it was really living here.  Rather than a compound, I live in an apartment.  I follow the rules of Saudi (for the most part), I don't live around other Americans and see girls at the pool.  I wear long sleeve's and long pants. I walk to work and have learned essential Arabic to get around.  I shop at local stores.  I haggle with cabbies.  

Sometimes I feel like a total outsider here, other times when some new American is staying at the Sheraton down the street, and wanders out to test the waters at "Starbucks". Or when I meet somebody at a party whose never really been "off camp" or "off Compound" and we spend the first 30 minutes of our meeting talking about how I've survived out in "the jungle".  I realize just how much I've blended, how different I am than I was 13 months ago.  I'm still an outsider, but not as outside as I once was.   

Why am I still here then, I'm the last of us.  Four Americans came, one is still here.  Why?  Well first of all don't worry, I'll be home in another 8 months.  Mainly though, I'm still here because I live here.  It's not mine, and I wouldn't want it forever anyway...but for now, its where I live and where I learned to live again.  

I'll go home soon enough, but I don't think it'll be to the same people and the same friends.  Maybe not even to the same job or profession...At 35 I finally learned a lesson that has been eluding me my entire life.  I am not my job, I am not my car and I am certainly not my fucking khaki's.  If you think I'm going to go back to working two dead end jobs to buy shit that I don't need anyway-well, I guess we'll see.  I think when I go back I'll sell or give away a lot of junk, buy a nice motorcycle, get a new tattoo, get an old truck and take my dogs to the river.  My door will always be open to friends, couch always available.  I'm thinking about not even buying a cell phone, but suppose I can't get away with that.  Some will wonder what happened to the ambitious, over worked, stubborn ass they knew.  Some will wonder why I don't move someplace nicer now that I'm single and well funded from Saudi.  Some will assume that I couldn't pay my bills and had to get rid of my nice pretty cars and trucks.  Many will wonder what the point of Saudi was, can't I use it to get an even higher responsibility, higher paid, higher pressure job...Credit companies will weep.  

I think I'll be smiling though.  As imperfect as I am, and as much as I'll probably buy something I don't need, I have finally figured out that I'm not my job, car or khaki's.  That's the cost and the benefit of 13 months away. 

**If you're well liked, people will try and convert you.  Its that simple.  Don't be offended, its a compliment.  Muslims, devout ones especially, who care for you, want you to be saved, they want you to go to heaven...so they'll eventually broach the topic of accepting Islam.  I just gently and politely say that I'm happy as a Christian and go on.  Not really a whole lot different than all of the real Baptists I know!

I flew 10,000 miles to eat at McDonalds...

People bash fast food but I won't do any such thing.  I try and stay away from it, but it has its time and place.  Sure it's disgusting; saturated fat, stuffed with preservatives and additives, grease and ingredients that were last fresh sometime around the mid twentieth century.  It's also DELICIOUS!  Food isn't an issue when you get to Saudi, pretty much everything is available, and the local fare is familiar to the American pallet.  However, every now and then you want a fast taste of American home, and considering that Saudi's love American fast food...why not head over to Mickey D's!  What shocked me most the first time was the cleanliness of the restaurant, then despite the slight language barrier the friendliness of the cashier and the staff.  Quickly followed by the king of my pleasant surprises when I bit into my beautifully assembled, perfect temperature, better than I'd ever had "Quarter Pounder with Cheese".  That's right the 'ol "Royale with Cheese" of Pulp Fiction fame, the same burger I've been ordering since I was a kid and you guys killed the old McDLT.  I had to come to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, to taste it the way it was meant to be, to eat it in a clean restaurant with friendly service.  To really enjoy it!  Over the next few months, I gained a few pounds discovering that it wasn't just McDonalds that was better, but Subway, Taco Bell, and Hardee's too!

This is why, I can't in any way shape or form support an American walkout of fast food workers.  I know you're not all teenagers working after school, but $15 an hour?  Really?  For crappy food and crappy service?  WTF guys...Maybe's its completely different on the East Coast, but in 2012 in the Midwest and the south, it hadn't changed one bit.  The cashier mumbles, the drive thru girls is high as a kite, the order is always wrong, the "manager" is sleeping off a hangover, and two of your shift workers didn't show up due to their incarceration last night.  Therefore, the floors are dirty, everything rushed, and the situation is generally just crap.  Long before I realized I was getting older and ought to start watching what I put into my body, I stopped eating fast food.  I did this because going to the place was disgusting, and everybody working had either taken a ride on my ambulance or was a probation client of my wife's. 

So instead of walking out and throwing a tantrum try this, take a little pride in what you do, whatever it may be.  Take a little pride in yourself.  Work hard and thank your lucky stars, God, The Aliens or the Great Spaghetti Monster that you were born in the USA.  That your version of "starvation" comes with an iPhone and cigarettes.