"You Cowardly Americans"

The title is in reference to a comment I read today on a "Salon" article, I don't usually delve this deep into politics here, I have other outlets for that, but I think the significance of the comment bears repeating.

The last time I remember things going right in my country was 2007, I was well employed, well paid, well financed and was buying like crazy. I owned a house and 3 large vehicles, I had everything I needed and more. I had almost everything I wanted. When all hell started breaking loose with the housing bubble, financial scandals and the like, things just rapidly began to...to suck. Mistakes that many of us made suddenly came to light, myself fully included in that. Many of us who considered ourselves "Conservatives" or "Republicans" took an honest look in the mirror and hung our heads in shame. We knew what we'd done, we'd borrowed on margin, overspent, bet on luck and our luck had run out. Sure there was a scandal or two out there, but if we hadn't been stupid with our money, nothing would have ever touched us...at least that's what we told ourselves. Part of the "Conservative" self image comes with a little thing we like to call "personal responsibility", and instead of practicing it, we'd partied our stupid asses off like drunken frat boys on a Vegas vacation. Pools, hot-tubs, oversize houses, golf club memberships, iPod's, iPhones, iPad's, student loans, cars, trucks, boats, motorcycles...you name it, we had it. Our kids didn't work, and we didn't worry about it...there was always money on "the card". I've recently begun to look at that a little differently...the personal responsibility is still there, but it's just that, personal. Personally, I should have had the foresight and the wherewithal to take a look around me and realize just how many people had their hands in my wallet while smiling to my face. But as long as the money didn't run out, I didn't worry about it. Nowadays however, I worry enough for both of us.

I ended up running away screaming from the Republicans (fat old elephants), but stopped short of running into the open arms of the Democrats (braying asses), I looked in the Libertarian (might as well be an anarchist) window for a minute, but that window is something akin to a smoky stained glass design of a hundred splinters. I finally settled on "independent" whatever the hell that means. I think I'm half humanist, half democratic socialist, half I don't know what (Yes, I'm aware that makes me an improper fraction :-) ). So now that my rose colored glasses have been knocked from my face and have shattered on the ground lets take a look at the 2000's with clearer eyesight. Stop me if you've heard this one:

• Enron Scandal
• Arthur Anderson
• WorldCom (Now Verizon!) Collapse and Scandal
• Iraq War (revealed in 2012-13 to be based on complete falsehoods and deliberately doctored information)
• Abu Garib Scandal
• Blackwater
• Halliburton
• Countrywide Scandal (The real beginning of the housing bust) (Oh and you know who had a 0% Countywide loan? Retired US Senator and one time Presidential hopeful Chris Dodd!)
• WAMU collapse and "Golden Parachute" discussion starter!
• Taylor Bean and Whittaker Collapse and raid by the FBI (Who up until last week was negatively affecting my credit report)
• Bernie Madoff
• Bailouts
• Lehman Brothers
• BP Gulf Horizon
• Illegal Home Foreclosures, yes Illegal and inappropriate even, some actually based on race and race alone!
• Benghazi
• Cairo 
• IRS wrongfully targeting conservative groups for extra scrutiny
• NSA potentially illegal surveillance
• And today, the thing that started me thinking... 6 Bank of America employees give depositions that they were paid to foreclose on homes, given bonuses to lie to customers, and illegally and inappropriately deny loan modifications link. 

Hmm...who did I forget...Oh yeah, THESE GUYS!

• John Edwards
• Mark Sanford
• Rod Blagojevich
• Elliott Spitzer
• Gary Condit
• Scooter Libby
• Mark Foley
• Jack Abramoff
• Tom Delay
• Bernie Kerik
• Randy Cunningham

All of these events and all of these people have done something either inappropriate or illegal either to you or in your name...in my name...in the name of Freedom and the United States of America! Very few of them are in prison, very few are poor, none are homeless. Here's my problem with that. I actually like my Country, I kinda served her once or twice and I don't think I should have to stand for this crap. However, we never really noticed stuff as long as we had money to burn, and now it seems a little too late to put the proverbial cat back in the bag. Now when you complain, the Usurpers of the system tell you that they're the Americans, and that you, well your just a discontent, a troublemaker, a commie, unpatriotic,  liberal idiot, hippie dreamer, tree hugging slack jawed faggot. The people who stole money from you, took bribes, employed illegal aliens, threw your neighbors out of their homes, passed laws they couldn't follow themselves, killed civilians, illegally monitored you in the name of "National Security" lied to you, lied again, and then lied about the lie. They're calling themselves the real Americans, and unfortunately, were all too damn stupid to notice.

So to that I say 'Merica! Fuck Yeah!

The comment that I paraphrased in the title comes from a commenter on the "Salon" piece about BofA. He states something to the effect that he finds it ironic that the US calls the French cowards, and yet the rest of the world looks at us that way. He ties it in to the demands for "heads to roll, guillotine style" in the BofA scandal. He doesn't tie it in to the wars we fight or the things we do, but rather what gets done to us and in our name, the things we allow. He goes on to say that our Government hasn't said "let them eat cake", but has instead put on a grin and said "yes, yes, you can have it all!" and then turned around, laughing all the way back to their McMansion's while they rob us blind (and I imagine us standing their like a pitiful version of a 21st century Oliver Twist played by Justin Bieber)....then he throws in some "stupid American's" and some LOL's and I suddenly find my hands trembling, and I'm practically blind with rage...but not at the author of the comment.

I don't have any political activist friends, probably a good thing, I don't much care for burn out hipsters or people in "cooky" red hats. My friends are doctors, paramedics, nurses, firefighters, cops, accountants, soldiers, sailors, business owners, professors and the like. They aren't going to like this, not one bit. It's going to feel hostile to them, its going to feel like an attack on their way of life and its not. Rather, its a criticism of the tolerance that we've built up to being screwed over. We fight amongst ourselves for the scraps from the table and look to each other as the problem, maybe were just too stupid to look up. Whatever the cause, try and remember, the more scandals break, the more stupid comments Jeb Bush makes, and the more Sarah Palin comes in and out of the spotlight, the more racial and sexual tension they can stir up, the less anybody focuses on the problem at hand. Were being robbed, spied on, thrown out and laughed at...and were fighting for the privilege, fighting for the idea that right around the corner is our magic ticket to the top. I call "Bullshit" 

I hope the NSA enjoyed reading this, I'll be home on the 3rd of July guys, flying through Detroit and desiring nothing more than a cold beer in my own back yard. I'm not crazy, I'm not a terrorist, I haven't been "radicalized", this isn't a "manifesto", I pay my taxes, live my life, do my job. I've served, my friends and family have served and some of them didn't come home. I have all the right in the world to question the crap being pulled to "keep me safe" and wonder why there are men getting rich driving companies into the ground, why my elected officials abuse perks, take bribes, and why the majority of the people stealing on a million dollar scale are doing less prison time than a kid who robs the 7-11.

*I support a coalition of action against #NSA surveillance. Join me – ask US Congress to stop the NSA's alleged actions: stopwatching.us
* The web is meant to be open and free. Join me in asking US Congress to stop #NSA surveillance: stopwatching.us

Driving in Saudi Part 2 - Crashing

I left home this morning at 8:00 am sharp, I entered the highway at about 8:05. 4 minutes later at 8:09, I was sitting in the middle of the Highway, perpendicular to traffic in a smashed car. 

I headed for work like I do every day, nothing special at all. I entered the freeway and began to try and make my way two lanes to the left, I got as far as the middle and found my progress blocked by one of the large Pakistani style decorative trucks directly in front of me, those trucks are big, colorful and nothing you want to be behind. They are old, slow and its impossible to see past them with their size and the clouds of black smoke that they cough out as they chug down the road. My progress leftward was also blocked by a nice newer looking white BMW. As we moved down the road, the BMW moved in behind me, I assumed, to exit the highway at the upcoming exit, but whatever the cause, it was good news for me! I hit my signal, saw a white Camry in the lane behind where the BMW had come from, and moved into the lane. The next thing I heard was the squeal of tires with locked up breaks, my rear-view showed the flashing head lights of the Camry inches off of my bumper. Apparently this was why the BMW had moved! The Camry had obviously been wanting to get past the BMW, and now was on my bumper, lights flashing away, horn blaring constantly. I accelerated as much as the little car would allow me, quickly getting up to 110 kph. I made it to the front of the large truck and began to move into the right lane. Before I could get over, the Camry made a fast move around me, pulled in front of me by a few feet. And then locked up his breaks, causing his tires to leave marks and white smoke to come from his wheel wells. I locked up my breaks and tried to swerve around him, I didn't succeed. The car went into a full spin as I tried to correct my over-steer, I found myself spinning around the highway, saw the wall, saw the airbag deflating and felt the car lurch to a stop. I sat there stunned, both arms locked out straight, hands on the wheel, waiting for the next impact. But it never came. The clock on the dashboard was glowing 8:09. The radio was now playing the news obnoxiously loud. My cigarette had disappeared. I opened the drivers door and stepped out into my whole new reality.

The white Camry with the dark tint windows was gone. 

Traffic was as usual heavy, now with a small Hyundai (even smaller than normal) blocking the middle lane, it slowed to a crawl. I called my boss and then my mechanic, I made it to the other side of the car and began to direct traffic to opposite sides of the car. Many men stopped and asked if I was OK, I said "aiwa shukran", they said "Alhamdulilah" and drove on. The police arrived about 5 minutes later. They were great, very friendly. They took a minute to survey the scene, make some notes and then we pushed the car off to the side of the road. One of the traffic officers ran over to a construction site nearby and promptly returned with 4 workers, a wheelbarrow full of dirt and brooms to try and cover the oil that had spread into a 4 qt. puddle. I handed over my license and the Car registration. My Mechanic arrived, surveyed the damage, smiled and said "no problem", "no worry". He gave me a ride to work, and went to the police station to finish the paperwork and pick up the report.

I'm not really at fault, but then again it was technically a one car accident, I'm not in any trouble, but I might be on the hook for the totaled car, I don't know yet. My boss and co-workers have told me never mind the cost, it's the cost of walking away from a Road Traffic Accident on the highway in Saudi Arabia with my life. I wish I'd had the wherewithal to take a picture of the mess, you'll just have to imagine a small car with no front end and all of its engine fluids on the highway.  A frustrated and flustered American standing next to it. 

P.S. If anybody can identify the driver of the white Toyota Camry, with the dark windows and no other distinguishing marks, driven by an unknown person of unknown nationality...let me know. :)

Saudi Paramedics

As most of my readers know, I'm an American Expat, here in the Kingdom to train Paramedics. My students are all Saudi, and the first group are preparing to graduate and move onto their internships.

For the most part, were going to be turning lose a great group of guys (and girls, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms, for a whole 'nother blog post). They will begin their internship year in September, check in with us monthly, and be given some pretty intensive on the job training. At the end of the year, they will take their exam with the Saudi Commission for Health Specialties. Upon passing they will be licensed as Paramedics, designated as Specialists and will be the people who respond to your emergency, (God forbid you have one!).

What I wanted to tell you about though, was the great bunch of Saudi Paramedics I've met lately, yes that's right they already exist. Lets break them down and see what they're made of.

Skills: 1st rate, every one of them that I've seen, have first rate skills. Just as good, if not better than any American paramedic.

Language: High quality Arabic and English, fully able to understand and communicate in the two most commonly used languages in the Kingdom.

Years of training: 4-6 years, yes that's right, 4-6 years! They have knowledge sets closer to that of a PA than a Paramedic. Many were initially educated here in the Kingdom and then sent to the US for further training. They've trained at Eastern Kentucky University http://emc.eku.edu/emc-bs-paramedicscience-option University of Maryland Baltimore County http://ehs.umbc.edu/  and others.

Certifications: NREMT-P/NRP, PHTLS, American Heart Association BLS, ACLS, PALS Many also carry the CCEMT-P though I've yet to see one with the elusive and exclusive FP-C, or CC-P. However they also carry multiple optional certs that are industry appropriate.

Where they work: This is where it gets a little funny, if you want to see Saudi Paramedics with the above resumes, chances are you'll have to be dying or very seriously injured. They work on Helicopters with the SRCA and its contract helicopter services (Alpha Star and PHI). They work for the National Guard Hospital, and the Security Forces Hospital. Pretty much, they work exclusively for the government.

In summary, the Saudi Paramedics I've had the pleasure of meeting over the past month have been first rate providers that can take care of a loved one of mine any day. I'm hoping, that the program I've been working with is going to give the Kingdom a lot more of them to go around!

Tieing up loose ends...

I spent my evenings this past week doing things a little differently. Most of them were spent either grading papers, or touching up resumes. Nothing has changed at work, I'm still looking at heading out for good in the first days of July. That involves some problems, and for the first time in a long time it involves confronting one of them.

I confronted that problem tonight. I did something I've been told to do by every single family member and friend for the past 8-10 months. I acted in my own best interest. 

If you've read any of this blog, you know why I came here, you know what I've done and know what has happened. What you didn't know was that I've been neglecting some of my own issues at home in an attempt to make things easier...or rather keep everything friendly...or better yet and most truthfully, put off dealing with the things I needed to deal with. Now, those of you young people, or non deep thinkers or just plain idiots think that what I mean is that I didn't want to deal with the divorce. That maybe I'm still in Love with her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was there, in the Lawyers office after an 8 hour drive, Hot, tired and not really in a great mood.  I disagreed, told her she was making a mistake and signed the papers anyway. Then I went out for dinner with her and her boyfriend (shut up...I KNOW...that was stupid). Then I got pissed off and left...briefly considered shooting them (but only in the butt with an air rifle (repetitively) from a raised and concealed position)...The next morning, after a sleepless night in a roach motel, I met her for a good, American, very non-Saudi breakfast and then headed for New Orleans. There I spent a drunken week with a great friend going between Bourbon street, The Garden District and a tattoo parlor...after all that...TRUST ME folks, I dealt with the damn divorce, and my feelings for her are about as romantic as getting kicked in the face repetitively. 

That brings me to my real point. I dealt with the divorce, I never dealt with the ramifications of it. Do you have any idea what it's like to sort out 9 years of memories? The human mind is phenomenal for its ability to look back on a situation and show you only the good. What's been hanging around my head, that I didn't deal with until today was that it was over. Not the romance mind you, but all the other stuff. All the good memories, all the firsts, the backyard BBQ's, all the relatives, the Christmas mornings, the Sleepwear that was literally the farthest thing from sexy but the closest thing to adorably cute. The first night we brought the puppy home or the time when my 100 lbs Black lab was so small that she walked from my shoulder to my other shoulder by climbing over my head. The football games, the baseball games, the hockey games and the long bar nights after them. We used to spend weekends doing DIY projects, having champagne brunches, driving random places and exploring.

When you get divorced, you lose all of that...I forgot to deal with it.

Today, I dealt with it. I didn't really want to, but I had to. For reasons I won't explain here, I was at a crossroads...either fail, and I DO mean FAIL, by my own hand, or face reality and make a smart decision. With the help of some very special people, I chose the latter. I expected to feel lighter, having made the right decision, having decided not to become a Martyr, I expected relief. I didn't get it, I only felt sadness. I miss my dogs, I miss my backyard and my decks (the crappy one I built first and the good one I built second). I miss our friends and family, I miss hanging Christmas lights. 

I miss some things that are in the past, and that's OK, because today for the first time, I realized and recognized that I miss the past and that no matter what I do, it will always-already-be-over. That realization opens up a door, it opens up a door to a future. Recognizing my old life is over, gives me a chance at a new life, not just a new romance, but a new life. A new life just as full of action and excitement, moments and eventually memories. With any luck, it'll be here in the Kingdom for another couple years (In'shAllah). I'm not done here. 

Wherever my future takes place though, I'm finally free to look forward and not back...That's a good thing.

* I also started my diving re-cert, if I'm leaving I want to Dive the Red Sea before I go...If not, well I love to dive and somehow haven't been in the water for 10 years.

** A note about divorce if you have to get one, men or women, take my advice: Surround yourself with your family and good friends, hire a lawyer because you're far too vulnerable to make good decisions for yourself, and hash it all out at once. It's going to damn near kill you, but its a good thing.

16 months and thoughts of home

This post is probably premature. For that reason, I'd been putting it off until I made some decisions. Premature or not, I'm going to publish it, because for any thinking of coming to Saudi, I want you to have a better understanding of what its like to be here.  Its a day by day experience.

I realized the other day that I hit my 16 month anniversary here in the land of sun and fun. I was going to take a picture, it was a pretty good day, I was in a suit, my hair had recently been cut and my beard was trimmed. However, towards the end of the day I just got busy and lost interest. I had other things on my mind.

There is a sickness here in Saudi. Its grounded in greed and pride. Hire the right people to do something and replace them with cheap people when its done. Maintenance, in any form, is not a concept in this society  Explaining my situation to other expats brought up many stories of similar experiences that either they or people they know have had. Their advice was pretty much the same across the board. Smile, pack up and say goodbye. Since I've been silent on this topic in the past, let me back-up and explain a bit.

I was brought here with 3 others to help stand this program up. I was brought to advise, support and work tirelessly to build a real Paramedic program. I was told during my interview that I would be here for a year if the program failed, 3-5 years if it succeeded. I was told that I would support all of the campuses. I was told that I should be training these students to pass US standard testing and we should be working towards CoAEMSP accreditation, and that while the vast majority of our students would never go to the US, those that did should be indistinguishable from their American paramedic brethren. Most of that, never happened. Instead, power struggles and poor attitudes ended up leaving us in a much more hands on teaching role. We simply became instructors. I was sent to the Damamm campus to take over the training role, and help the struggling campus. I did exactly that. 15 months later, I'm the only American left, all the rest have given up and quit. Here in Damamm we have a new department, a department that I had an integral role in creating. The bleak walls are now covered with medical information, classes start on time and end on time, tests are administered appropriately.  Students don't cheat as much, students wear uniforms and take pride in what they've done and what they're doing. They train hard and for the most part do well. These things are not solely because of my presence, but to believe I didn't have a large role in the transition is naive.

Naivety is rampant though. It seems someone I've never met in Administration has taken a look at the numbers and decided he could replace me with 3 Filipino's (their words, not mine). I thought this was just a segue into negotiations, but apparently not. Apparently, I'm being replaced with nurses from the Philippines.

The program is good, the students are already in, who needs the expensive Amriki right? Well, my students for one. Apparently, a few of my students have come up with an idea to go to Riyadh and tell them just how much I do here, and how hard I've been working. I don't say it enough, so let me say it now. I am amazed by what these students can do. I am humbled by the way they treat me and speechless that they think this highly of me.

I'll say more about it in the coming weeks, no matter what happens. But I'm not ready to go just yet-for a lot of reasons. The program isn't ready yet, there is still a lot to do, and I'm a part of that. Maybe the most important reason I'm still needed is that I don't lie like other expats do. When someone gives me a stupid idea, I let them know its stupid. When I'm asked my opinion, I give it. In the case of some of my wonderful co-workers, they give the answer that is asked for-it's complicated, but it boils down to a sense of what we are doing here. I came to build something, they came to work. We both get paid and money is important, but my primary mission is to build what I was told to build, they're primary mission is to work.

Whatever happens, I have a couple of months till I'm headed home. Maybe for good, maybe just for vacation. If I leave, it means the last person who has ever worked on an ambulance, will have left the college and the education of Paramedics will be trusted to those whose experience and expertise is limited to the hospital.  With no disrespect meant to my co-workers, who are all great...No more paramedics, sucks for my students and myself alike.

What did he just say?

Friday is the holy day in Saudi Arabia, the weekend begins Wednesday evening and ends when we all go back to work on Saturday morning. This varies throughout the region, but here in Saudi, its locked in. Thursday activities are limited, Friday activities are almost non-existent until after Isha Prayer. I thought I would hate this, but actually I've kinda grown accustomed to it...in fact I kinda enjoy the down time. The call to Prayer is now something I normally sleep through on the weekends, for the first couple of months it sent me straight out of bed in a hurry and made it thoroughly impossible to be late or to sleep in. Today, like a few recent Fridays though, I didn't sleep in.

I didn't sleep in because today there was a sermon being preached...at least that's what it sounded like to me. I mean no disrespect when I say that. I do however question what was being said...I don't speak Arabic but I do often find myself able to understand it a bit, but coming through a loudspeaker and being spoken as quickly and as angrily as it was today and has been in the past few months...well needless to say I didn't get any of it.

My question and my point today is just what the heck was being said? Opinions vary, but they seem to be in the majority camp that the only thing that should be happening, especially on a Friday is prayer. I've asked just about all of my friends here if this is a normal occurrence and they all seem to be saying that "for the most part, no". Now, Arabic is one of those languages that intensifies in volume and pitch with speed and passion, so it's hard to say if the Imam was angry...but he sure sounded angry. So what was he angry about?

That question, is one that I'd like to have answered, but it seems to not be one that anyone wants to answer for a foreigner. So I'm left to my imagination...was he maligning the state of the Syrian Conflict, The Bahrani Conflict? The arrests made in Qassim recently? Was he preaching against the recent AQAP Youtube Video reaching out for women to start calling for Jihad. Or was he preaching for the unification of Islam, the bonding of Sunni and Shia together...Or was he doing the opposite of all or one of those things...I don't know, but it sure is curious.

The "Do's" and "Don'ts" of Saudi

Saudi Gazette has today run an opinion piece about the "Big Do's and Don'ts in Saudi Arabia".

http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentid=20130305155527

On my first read of this piece, I thought that the author, a Saudi Academic had done a pretty good job of covering the basic aspects of Saudi Culture and some of the better ways to approach topics you had questions about. However, as I thought about it, and gave it a second look, I realized that pretty much his opinion of the do's and "don'ts" was  a little bit skewed. It seems that in the authors eyes, the "do's" are to visit and work in Saudi Arabia with an open mind, and to ask questions about select topics i.e. Islam from the perspective of one who wants to learn rather than one who wants to judge. The Don'ts however, were a much larger section: Don't ask about multiple wives, women driving, Israel, etc...

On my third read of the piece, I realized that this was basically a piece that said "Welcome to Saudi Arabia, if you want to convert welcome, otherwise stay out of the kitchen for the time that your here."

Here's my problem...this guy is way out of touch with his own populace. Forget the fact that he basically just gave a nationalist speech in the 21st century, forget the fact that he seems to be one of the people that harbors the opinion that expats such as myself are here not because of our expertise but strictly because the Kingdom was kind enough to hire us...forget all of that. This "Saudi Academic" lumps his entire Kingdom's population into one group. He ignores the most basic differences such as Gender, Religious sect, Tribe, Wealth and Social Status and whats worse he completely ignores the fact that some Saudi's might feel differently than other Saudi's. Apparently in this man's mind, despite being educated in Major Saudi Universities, the UK, the United States, Germany, Japan, etc. Despite reading books, watching television, and watching world news. Despite the millennial generation being the first one in Saudi History that HAS to work, and despite a growing class of impoverished Saudi's...Apparently despite all of that, Saudi Arabians have emerged with a single collectivist brain and uniform thoughts. Therefore this man can write an "Us vs. Them" article lumping all Saudi's into one group and the rest of the world into another.

A gross ignorance to or misunderstanding of ones own changing culture is dangerous. If any threat to Saudi Arabia exists, this is where it will come from. It will not come from outside, Iran will not start a war, The US and our "Rock n' Roll" and "Loose Women" won't bring you down. Failing to understand the situation facing the millennial generation, and failing to see how they are changing and take steps to understand their concerns, to listen to their voices...that will be where your problem begins. Or maybe "began" is a better way to describe it.